Beauty from pain
by chippdhearts
Summary: (AR) Now that Arizona is spiralling further downward will anyone notice? Can Callie put her issues aside and put the pieces of her broken wife, and marriage, back together? Or will the battle be too much and send them both to their breaking points? Set Post 9x24 ( spoilers for 10x09). Calzona and heavy Arizona/Teddy friendship.
1. Chapter 1

—

 _"_ _It just takes a second for my world to come crumbling down."_

 _—_

"I can't do this anymore!"

"Fixing our marriage is too much to ask of you, okay fine. Just go."

"That's not what I said, stop twisting my words Calliope!"

"It's what you meant, I know you better than you know yourself."

"You don't know what you're saying."

"Can't you just admit that I'm right for once?"

"You don't know anything so just stop talking! Okay?"

"No that's not okay. Hey! Don't walk away while we're having a conversation!"

She knows that she has to get out, her breathing is laboured and her vision foggy. It's all too overwhelming. The hustle and bustle of the busy hospital is clouding her judgement. Before she knows it she's making a dash for the elevator and once inside she slams on the close door button. Callie's voice is trailing behind her, and she can hear it getting louder and louder as her wife draws closer. She presses the button repeatedly and lets out a sigh of relief when the doors close and she begins to make her way towards the ground floor. As soon as the doors slide open she's out of the building in a flash, thanking her lucky stars that Callie hasn't caught up to her. She keeps walking until she's found herself sitting on a park bench, head in her hands and tears finally allowing themselves to stream down her face. Her anger and hatred for her wife completely replaced with self loathing because deep down she knows that this is all her fault.

So Arizona finds herself sitting on a park bench as the sky darkens and the cool evening air sets in because she hasn't got the will to get up and go home or to the hospital. In this moment she has lost the will to live with no one to blame but herself because she screwed up and it cost her the love of her life. She has no one to turn to, because ever since the day she met Calliope Torres, she has known that she will always be her person, and no one else makes the cut. So she is alone.

The sun has completely set and Arizona begins to feel the chill of the night. Her eyes are dry and she's certain that it's not physically possible for her to cry anymore. She contemplates going back to the hospital, but then she's overwhelmed at the prospect of all the people, and also she's completely dreading what Callie has told everyone.

Instead she opts to go a hotel for the night, just to clear her head, and naturally her first thought is to raid the mini bar, but she can't she just can't do that. She knows that when she gets drunk she gets reckless, so no she doesn't plan on getting drunk because she hates herself for cheating on Callie and getting drunk will most certainly result in a one night stand and another mountain of regrets. So she sits on the bed staring into the void of darkness hoping for sleep to take over, and begging for some kind of release. But neither of them comes. She's still awake when the first light starts to break through and she still feels like crap. However it's a new day, and that means that she has to put on a brave face and go back to work.

She drops her key at the front desk and heads into the hospital so she can shower and change into the spare clothes that are in her locker. She stands at the mirror and braids her damp hair before heading out to pick up her charts. As she's walking down the corridor she hears her name being called. Before she turns she plasters a grin on her face and attempts to be her usual perky self.

"Arizona."

"How can I help you?" She says as she turns around and her braid falls to the side. "Meredith."

"Callie called and said she couldn't pick Sofia up, so I took her home." Meredith lets Sofia's hand go and the child wanders over to Arizona. Naturally she smiles at her daughter, because right now she's the one thing which is keeping her from losing it completely, her beautiful little girl.

"Thank you." She takes her daughters hand and guides her towards the elevator. "Come on baby, lets go to daycare." She sits with Sofia for a while, since she feels like she hardly sees her anymore, but when she checks the time she knows she really should be heading back upstairs before the rumour mill starts to churn up reasons as to why she is sitting in day care rather than working. She kisses her daughter on the cheek. "Bye Sofia."

"Bye mama." And then she's out of the room. She waits, staring through the blind for a while, because she's missed that smile and her voice. For a second she feels sane, happy and grounded. But only for a second. Her pager is going off, she's being called in for a consult. Her head starts to spin, because what if she runs in to Callie. They've been able to remain professional and act courteously around each other, but after yesterday she's unsure of what will happen because she's never really felt the full wrath of Callie before then.

She's on a caffeine high, but she's made it through the day, without running into Callie. Then her phone rings and Callie's face pops up on the caller ID. She's got a goofy grin, and Arizona remembers when she took that photo. Sofia had been on a play date and they were home alone, they'd planned to just sit on the sofa and watch TV but Callie had surprised her, she'd cooked and then dimmed the lights in their bedroom and laid out a few candles. She remembers how good the pasta that Callie had made tasted. She'd moaned, and Callie had teased that clearly her cooking was orgasmic. That's when she had snapped that photo.

"Doctor Robbins, are you going to get that?"

"Sorry yes." She'd been so caught up in the memory, she had forgotten that photo, because Callie never called anymore, so she never saw it. "Hello, can you give me a second." She walks down the hall and finds an empty on call room because she figures that it must be important if Callie is calling her. "Yes I'm here."

"Can you pick Sofia up and bring her over here?"

"Are you feeling okay? If you're sick I can take her for the night."

"No I'm not sick, but we need to talk, and it's something we need to talk about face to face. It's something that you deserve to hear in person. Since you're at the hospital and I'm not I figured it would be simpler if you just brought Sofia here and then we can talk."

"Over to the apartment? You mean you aren't you at the hospital?"

"No, if I was do you think I'd be asking you to pick up my daughter?"

"Sorry I wasn't thinking, why aren't you here?" The fact that Callie used the word my instead of our was not lost on Arizona, and whilst it could have genuinely been a slip up she had a feeling that was not the case. However she wasn't about to to push her luck and potentially blow something meaningless way out of proportion so she just let it be.

"We can talk about that when you get here. I'll see you soon. Goodbye."

The screen goes black and there are two beeps indicating that the call has ended. She shoves her phone into her pocket and heads to change out of her scrubs before picking her daughter up from daycare. She runs into Meredith on her way down, which of course leads to a rather unpleasant conversation.

"Have you spoken to Callie?"

"Yes I got off the phone with her a while ago."

"Do you know why she wasn't in today?" Meredith is curious because Callie has refused to tell her anything about the situation and she'd hate to see her friend get hurt.

"No I don't"

"And she knows that you're picking up Sofia?"

"Yes. Can you stop questioning me"

"Sorry Callie is my friend…"

"And I'm a worthless cheater! She's still my daughter, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't question me about my marriage and how I'm raising my child." She's raised her voice and now people are staring at her.

"I wasn't…"

"I'm sorry, I've just had a rough few days, it's not your fault. Goodnight Meredith." She picks up Sofia and walks out briskly so that it doesn't look like she's running from all of the people who just witnessed her having a mini meltdown.

She puts Sofia in the car seat and drives to Callie's on auto pilot. She pulls up and helps Sofia out of the car. She knocks on the door and it swings open. Callie's hair is not combed and she's in her pyjamas, Arizona knows this means that she's had a bad day.

"Hi!" Callie scoops Sofia up and immediately takes her to her room. She gets her cleaned up for bed whilst Arizona waits in the living room. She waits patiently, standing rather than making herself at home because this isn't her home anymore, and she doesn't want to irritate Callie any further. She paces and doesn't say a word whilst her wife carries out Sofia's nightly routine, that she knows by heart because they used to do it together. She keeps her mouth shut when Callie forgets a step, she's forgotten to brush and braid the little girls hair, because when she sleeps with it down it usually becomes a tangled mess. Callie emerges from Sofia's room. "Do you want to say goodnight to her?"

"Yes of course." She disappears for a few minutes, and she feels guilty for rushing it, because she hasn't tucked her little girl in for so long now, but she has to get back out and see what Callie so urgently needed to talk to her about, and what is so serious that it couldn't be discussed over the phone.

When she closes the door behind her she finds that Callie is seated on the sofa. Callie motions for her to take a seat in the arm chair, and she complies. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I didn't come into work today. This morning when I woke up I just didn't want to face you after yesterday. I felt a little guilty. But as the hours passed and I had time to think about it I felt less and less guilty. I mean why the hell should I feel guilty when you're the one who strayed. I'm not going to yell at you because our daughter is next door, and she's much too young to understand why we're fighting and what is happening."

"I know, you blame me, it's largely my fault." She talks slowly and calmly, trying to rationalise, whilst also leaving out some vital details which she knows could help her out in the long run if she just tells Callie, but she can't bring herself to tell Callie all of the things that she's been through. She can't burden anyone with everything that's eating her alive.

"No, don't you dare give me that, don't tell me it's your fault and then have your own little pity party and try to make me feel sorry for you because it's not going to work." Ouch. Those words really sting, because they hit close to home, she want's Callie to understand and she desperately wishes that she could tell her everything, and make her understand that she should have a little bit of sympathy, but the words just don't come out.

"Calliope."

"I'm warning you. You're pushing it."

"I want to try, and I need…"

"Look frankly I don't care what you want or need anymore, because you never cared to tell me what you wanted before and I wasn't consulted when you decided to sleep with someone else." There's a sharp pain inside, because of course the brunette is right. She slept with someone else, and that hurt Callie, and she can't undo the pain she caused, but at the same time she can't stop feeling the pain _she's_ in. Now she's feeling the most pain from the fact that the love of her life is hurting, and there's nothing she can do now to stop that.

"Listen to me Calliope please." She needs her wife to stop talking, to give her minute to process all the thoughts bouncing around in her head. She can't from a coherent thought and she wants to be able to say her piece.

"No, you listen to me, you're going to listen to what I want for once. Do you hear me?" The blonde gives a cautious nod, waiting to hear what she has to say. "Arizona, I want a divorce."

* * *

A/N: If you're willing to stick with this then thank you so much, and if you have time to drop a review it's always appreciated.


	2. Chapter 2

—

 _"_ _I wanna be your Friday night sweet ride_

 _Summertime sunshine barefoot in the moonlight_

 _I wanna be your jackpot hot spot_

 _Wide open road in a candy apple rag top_

 _I wanna set you free_

 _I wanna take you high_

 _I wanna be, wanna be your Friday night"_

 _—_

 **Disclaimer:** I Don't own Grey's or any characters. All mistakes are mine.

* * *

 **6 months ago**

"Callie I can't. I j-just can't g-g-o through that a-again." The blonde sobs. "I can't handle another loss."

"Okay, so we'll wait." Callie embraces her wife and allows her to cry. "We can do this, together, it's all going to be okay. I'm here, I'm right here. I love you so much. Shh, it's going to be okay."

Suddenly Arizona's mood shifts, and there's a lingering tension in the air. "You want to try again?"

"Yes, but only when you're ready."

"N-no. I can't. I'm not going through this again Callie."

"You're saying you don't want to try again?"

"No - yes - no. I don't know, i just don't want to ever feel like this again."

"So having another child is off the table? Just like that?" The annoyance in Callie's voice is becoming more apparent, and Arizona doesn't think she can stand her wife being mad at her when she feels like shit already.

"No, it's not off the table. It's more that I don't want to carry the baby, look can we discuss this another time, I've had a long day and I'd like to go home."

"Fine sure, whatever."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that we're having a conversation which involves both of our lives and you're walking away now that things aren't going your way. Just like you always do."

She's facing away from Callie now, and she wants to run more than anything. She doesn't want Callie to see the way her words have impacted her. She can't let the love of her life watch her fall apart. So she wipes away the tears which are streaming down her face, and glances over her shoulder at the Brunette. "Goodnight Calliope." She says, and then she's out of the door and headed to get a drink.

"Wait, Arizona! Wait." Callie stops her self from chasing after the blonde as she thinks that maybe she should give her wife a little bit of space. So she heads down to pick up Sofia and then go home.

* * *

There is a buzzing atmosphere when she steps through the door and it's almost exactly how she remembered it. She hasn't been here since before she met Callie, but very little has changed. The bar is covered with new faces, but the layout of the place is the same, excluding the new addition, a platform right in the middle of the dance floor. She pulls her hair out of it's ponytail and lets her natural blonde waves cascade down and frame her face. First things first she heads over to the bar and orders herself a drink.

"Whiskey, neat."

The woman at the bar pours her drink and slides the glass across the table to where Arizona has managed to get a seat. She ignores the price of the drink and instead just passes her a card and tells her to start up a tab. She finishes the drink in no time and already has a second one in hand when she is tapped on the shoulder. She's already formulating and excuse in her head to decline a dance with whichever woman has decided to try and flirt with her, because she's married, and she knows the temptation might just be too much for her.

She spins and is met with piercing green eyes and a head of unruly, curly, brunette hair with red streaks that she would recognize anywhere. "Arizona Robbins! Is it really you?!"

"Oh my goodness, Stella! It's great to see you, how have you been?"

"Really good thank you. Yourself? What brings you back here after all these years, how long has it been, 5 years?"

"6 and half, but who's counting? Hectic day at the hospital, and I just needed to not be surrounded by doctors for a few hours, so here I am. Are you still working here?"

"Yes I am, I'm the assistant manager now. I was just about to check in for my shift. Have they been treating you well, if not I'll make sure to have a word with the staff." The brunette winks at her and lets out a small chuckle.

"Wow, assistant manager, look at you."

"Well I'm no big fancy doctor, but yeah I'm doing pretty well."

"Well I won't keep you, but I guess I'll see you later?"

"Oh yes you bet, and don't get dragged home with someone without saying goodnight to me first okay?" For the first time in a long time Arizona finds herself smiling. The conversation is easy, and she doesn't have to talk about work, divulge details of her personal life, or clear up rumours which have been spread around about her. Here she's not a doctor, or a mother or a wife. For now she's just a woman who's sitting in a bar and catching up with an old friend.

"I wouldn't dream of it."

"Catch you later Zo!" and Arizona watches as Stella's curls bounce up and down as she walks into the back of the bar. Then she turns back and finishes her drink in one swift motion and calls for a refill.

She feels a tap on her shoulder and then there's a woman sitting down next to her. Tall, about 5'10" with brown eyes and white blonde hair. "Hey, how come I've never seen you here before? Are you new in town?"

"No, I'm not I've just been out of the game for a while. What's your name?"

"Scarlett. It's lovely to meet you…"

"Arizona. It's nice to meet you too. Can I buy you a drink?"

"Wow, putting yourself right out there. I'll have a strawberry margarita."

"Oh, so you're a cocktail girl. Two shots of vodka and a strawberry margarita please." Arizona subconsciously slips her wedding ring off and puts it into her clutch.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?"

"Now why would I be doing that?" Arizona easily downs the shot and Scarlett copies before taking a sip of the pink liquid.

They chat until Scarlett has finished her drink which is when she abruptly pulls Arizona onto the dance floor. So they dance, talk and laugh. Until Arizona's leg starts to hurt, so she takes the other woman over to the bar and orders tequila shots. Ordinarily this isn't something she'd do, but she's lived enough to know that she doesn't want to have anymore regrets, and she's just far gone enough for this to seem like an excellent idea. So she pours the salt along her chest, sprinkles a little on her wrist and grabs a lime. "Ready?" Scarlett nods and so her tongue makes its way across Arizona's chest, while she licks her wrist. Then they both down their shots, Arizona slips the lime into her mouth and then presses her lips against Scarlett's. She opens her mouth and the younger woman reciprocates allowing Arizona to slide the lime into her mouth with ease.

They do a couple more shots before Arizona declines Scarlett's request to go home with her. However Arizona asks the bartender to call a cab, and she ensures that the younger woman gets in the cab safely. The chill of the night has set in and the blonde begins to wonder what time it is, but then she remembers that she's off work for a couple of days, and then heads back inside.

The night drags on, and a few more women have come up to her, she even managed to get in a couple of dances. However she still doesn't feel like herself and she's not sure that she ever will. Being with Callie has changed her and no one is going to make her feel the way Callie does. Sure she feels alive, and it's the first time she's really let loose in a long time, but it's not quite the same.

She makes out with someone on the dance floor, but that's as far as she lets it get, she stops her when she starts getting handsy. Her head is now pounding and so she decides to get a drink of water.

She's stumbling towards the bar and manages to get a seat. "Well, I'm glad to see you back in the game, I was beginning to worry that you'd decided to experiment on the other side." Stella pours her out a glass of water, with ice and sets it down on the bar.

"The other side? You make it sound so bad. No way, I've just been in a really good relationship for a while."

"Too good to come back and visit us, wow must be some woman, and damn that ring. How long?"

"We've been married for almost 3 years and we have a daughter called Sofia. How about you, anyone special?"

"Thats a lovely name Zo. I have a cat." She chuckles.

"Cat, really? I always thought of you as a dog person"

"You're drunk, and I always thought that you didn't want kids, at least thats what you used to tell me."

"Yeah, I didn't. It just sort of happened, its kind of a long story. But she's great and I love her so much, I can't imagine my life without her."

"So how come you're here instead of at home with your wife?" Arizona doesn't respond, and Stella worries she's asked a much too personal question. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to pry, it's just that we used to be so close."

"No it's okay, we had a fight. It was stupid, but I think it would be best if I didn't go home tonight. I've had long day, would you mind calling me a cab? I'd just like to check into a hotel and sleep it off."

"No way am I letting you stay in a hotel. Look I know we haven't been in touch but we we're good friends once, so let me do this. I have a spare bedroom and I get off work in just under an hour. Just come and stay at mine. Please Zo."

"Really? That's so kind, but I wouldn't want to be any trouble."

"No, it's no trouble at all the room is all set up and just waiting to be used."

"Well thank you then."

"You're very welcome."

She stays at the bar, and barely drinks half her glass of water. She brings her phone out, but finds that the battery is dead so she just shoves it back into her bag. Finally Stella finishes her shift and the two of them head over to her apartment. Once inside Stella attempts to get Arizona to drink more water but the blonde refuses.

Stella shows Arizona where the bathroom is, and then leads her to the guest bedroom. "Goodnight Zo."

"Night." Arizona murmurs, as she falls asleep almost straight after her head hits the pillow.

* * *

She sits up and takes in her surroundings. Pristine white walls, minimally decorated - however whoever the room belongs to has exquisite taste - and the main attraction is a small chandelier which she doesn't doubt is made from real crystal. She doesn't recognize where she is. Her head is pounding and so she frantically checks so see if she's still clothed. She's in her underwear, is that a good sign or a bad sign? She can't even think straight. Suddenly she's hyper aware of the fact that her necklace and her wedding ring are missing. "Shit." She hops out of the bed and begins to frantically search the bed sheets incase the ring slipped off. "I am a dead woman." There are three sharp knocks on the door, and Arizona almost jumps out of skin.

"Zo, are you awake?"

"I'll be out in a minute." Arizona finds blouse and jeans from the night before, she quickly puts on both of the items of clothing and wanders out of the room.

"Morning, did you sleep well?" She instantly recognizes the woman standing behind the counter top. Stella.

She breathes a sigh of relief before answering the question."Yes thank you." But then a wave of panic surges through her. This is her ex-girlfriend - the woman who she seriously considered marrying - and she woke up almost naked in her apartment. "But my head is killing me, how much did I have to drink?"

"Enough, but you're becoming a light weight. I thought you could handle your alcohol. But you're lucky I was around, how many times do I need to remind you not to mix your drinks, you could have ended up in some crazy woman's apartment."

"Stella. I need to be blunt about something."

"You have two questions. Don't worry, we did not have sex. You weren't in great shape so I brought you back to mine, and let you stay in the guest room, end of story."

Arizona lets out a breath, that she wasn't aware she was holding. "Wait how did you know what I was going to ask."

"It's very obvious, that's the one question people always have 'what the hell happened last night?' I mean I do work at a club after all. Plus I can read you pretty well Zo. As for your second question." Stella whips out a ring and places it on the countertop. "You were fidgeting with your ring finger."

"Oh thank God. Where did you get it?"

"You were showing it off to me on the way home last night, and you refused to put it back on, so I practically tackled you to the floor so that I could keep it safe. Your necklace is in your bag, I put it in the zip compartment."

"Wow, I was a pain in the ass last night wasn't I?" Arizona gratefully takes the ring and slips it back onto her finger.

"Not really- well kind of, but don't worry about it. Do you want to stay for breakfast, or are you going to head home?"

"Thank you so much for the offer, but I think I'll have to get out of your hair."

"Okay, well it was great to see you again." The blonde turns to head back to guest room to find her bag. "And Zo, don't be a stranger." Arizona turns around and the taller woman is standing behind her with her bag in her hand. Stella places a gentle kiss on Arizona's cheek, and she is instantly reminded of the spark, the thrill when she was with Stella. Excitement. Lust. Heat. Passion.

"I think you'll be seeing more of me in the future. Bye Stella."

* * *

A/N: Don't shoot me (I'm evil I know), but chapter one takes place 6 months into the future. I'll be going back to the beginning and exploring the events that lead up to that point.

I'll be updating every 2 weeks from now on (sorry it's so slow but I'm about to go into exam season so I should probably study.)

Thank you to everyone who has followed this story so far. And a special thanks to Jem 4ever, Angelphant and oniao33 for your kind reviews.


	3. Chapter 3

_—_

 _"_ _And the talking leads to touching_

 _and the touching leads to sex_

 _and then there is no mystery left…"_

 _—_

Please note that I changed the rating of this story.

* * *

She turns her key in the lock. All the possible scenarios of how this could play out running through her mind. Her brain is working overtime and her heart is racing. She pushes the door open and is met with silence.

"Callie I'm home." She gently closes the door behind her and places her keys in the bowl next to the door. "Callie, where are you?" She peeks into Sofia's room, and the little girl is sound asleep. She is started by the bedroom door slamming.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Her hands go to her temples and she squeezes her eyes shut. "Please can you keep your voice down."

"You're hungover? Great, that is just fantastic." The brunette towel dry's her hair as she moves over to the sofa. "Well, you didn't answer me, where the hell have you been all night? I called you at least 10 times, and your pager was here, so what the hell Arizona?"

"I was out. Please can you not talk so loudly."

"Out where, I have a right to some answers. What if there had been something wrong with Sofia and I couldn't get a hold of you?" The blonde grabs a glass and begins to fill it with cold water. "Some mother…" Callie scoffs under her breath.

"I'm tired, I'm going to bed." Arizona takes a couple of aspirin and then heads into the bedroom. She places her clothes into the wash basket and pulls on shorts and a baggy t-shirt. She jumps into the bed, removes her leg and flicks off the lamp. She can hear Callie waking Sofia up and telling their daughter about all the fun they are going to have at the park. She listens as Callie tells her to get her bag packed, and as they discuss what lunch they are going to pack. And she feels her heart break as her little girl asks her wife why mama isn't coming too, guilt washes over her as Callie lies and tells her that mama doesn't feel very well, but promises a fun family dinner. Technically it's not a lie, Arizona feels like crap. Her head hurts, but its nothing compared to the pain in her heart.

* * *

"Go and put your shoes on Sofia. then we can go, okay?" The little girl heads to the door and struggles with the velcro straps on her sneakers. Callie chuckles and does them up for her before helping Sofia into her coat. Callie puts on her boots and grabs a jacket, shoving the keys into her pocket. "Here sweetie, put your bag on I've just got to grab my phone."

Callie heads into the bedroom and grabs her phone off the nightstand. She shuts the door behind her and then takes Sofia's hand as they walk out of the apartment.

* * *

Arizona is pretending to sleep when Callie retrieves her phone. _"Some mother…"_ Callie's words play over and over in head. Her wife is right, she's a horrible mother, which she knew from the beginning, which is why she didn't want kids, she knew she would screw up. And she has, she's screwed up big time. She's failed as a wife and as a mother. As soon as she hears the door close she lets tears stream down. But she feels physically sick, she feels awful for putting Callie through this, and she thinks about how easy it would be to end her pain, and Callie's pain. If she wasn't here anymore then she couldn't screw up anymore, and she wouldn't be the reason that her wife and daughter were hurting so badly. She gets out of the bed, and slides into the bathroom. She fastens her hair with an elastic before she brings up the little of her stomach contents. She reaches up and flushes the toilet, and closes the lid. She ends up dry heaving and sobbing for a while longer before she takes comfort in the cold bathroom tiles where she curls up as tightly as she can until she sobs so much that exhaustion takes over and she falls into a deep slumber.

* * *

About 4 hours later Callie and Sofia return from the park. Sofia is still on a sugar high from the ice cream and candy that Callie bought her. They had a lot of fun, in the playground, feeding the ducks and they even ran into one of Sofia's friends from daycare. But when they sat down for lunch and she started asking weather mama was coming to meet them in the park, and how mama always buys her ice cream, and braids her hair Callie doesn't know what to say. So she buys her ice cream and sweets until she stops asking.

As soon as the door is unlocked the little girl sprints into the apartment and pushes open the door to her parents bedroom. "Mama mama! We had fun at the park, and I had ice-cream." Callie chuckles, and contemplates leaving Arizona to deal with their over excited daughter who is on a sugar rush. Suddenly she's snapped out of how she can torture Arizona with the 3-year-old who has endless bouts of energy. And ear piercing scream is coming from their bedroom and Sofia comes running out with tears running down her cheeks. Callie runs over to the little girl and bends down so that they are at eye level.

"Hey, what happened baby girl?" But Sofia carries on crying whilst staring at her blankly. Then she runs past and hides in her bed. Callie rushes into their bedroom and sees Arizona's body lying on the bathroom floor. "Shit." She's at the blonde's side instantly. She checks for a pulse. She's alive. "Thank god." She picks Arizona up and carries her to the bed. She places both her hands on her wife's shoulders and desperately tries to rouse her.

Blue eyes snap open and Callie lets out a sigh of relief. "Don't ever do that again, you freaked the hell out of Sofia." Callie stands up and heads to their daughters room. She pulls the covers off the little girl and carries the sobbing child into their bedroom. Sofia buries her face into her mothers shoulder. She places her next to Arizona. "Hey, look Sofia, Mama's awake. See she's fine." She turns to where Arizona is now sat up. She's being cautious at first but when she sees that Arizona is indeed awake she crawls across the bed and wraps her arms around her.

"Hey, it's okay. I'm okay Fi." Now that she knows her mother is fine she begins to babble on about her day as if nothing had happened. But something had happened. Callie couldn't ignore the mascara streaks down her wife cheeks which were clearly from crying.

* * *

They have family dinner, as Callie promised, before putting Sofia to bed. Arizona plaits her hair, whilst Callie reads to her. They both pull the covers over her and place a kiss on either side of her head. "Night Fi."

"Goodnight baby." Callie flicks the light's off as they exit the room. "We need to talk."

"I was at a friends place, okay that's it."

"Really? Are you sure you didn't get really drunk, screw some random woman and then pass out somewhere?"

"That's out of line Callie, you know I wouldn't…"

"Cheat on me? because you've already done that."

"I was going to say, you know I wouldn't get that drunk."

"You weren't at Joe's."

"Are you following me?"

"I called Alex, who said you weren't at the hospital. So I freaked out and had Meredith check Joes."

"Right, well I was at a different bar, and I ran into an old friend, okay more than an old friend."

"So you…"

"Didn't cheat on you. Please stop assuming the worst Calliope. She was one of the first people I met when I came into town and… No. I first met her before I came to Seattle. It's a long story, but I nearly proposed, but before I could she broke up with me. But then when I moved to Seattle, there she was, after all those years, working at this bar. And I thought I loved her, god… I really did. Then we talked, and we became friends, and we had a one night stand. Then I found out I got a job at the hospital. Which is when I stopped having time to go to that bar, so I started going to Joe's. That's when I started to notice you. And Callie I haven't seen her since that night. I promise you, we're nothing but friends now, because I am in love with you. Calliope."

"You never told me about her."

"It was never relevant."

"I love you too, and you scared the hell out of me last night. And today, the lying on the floor, what the hell?"

"I- how do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"You're an incredible mother, it comes so naturally to you. I just can't, it's why I never wanted kids. I couldn't be responsible for screwing them up. "

"You're not screwing it up. Arizona you love our daughter, and really… that's enough. Kids are resilient, you know that. She's doing just great, you haven't screwed her up, you've done a fantastic job. As for me being a natural, I couldn't do any of it without you Arizona." She leans in and presses her lips to the blondes. "What do you say we get you cleaned up?"

"God I'm a mess aren't I?"

"You're beautiful. And Arizona, we'll wait. For more kids, we can wait. Right now all I want is you." Arizona leans in and tangles her hands into Callies hair as their tongues fight for dominance. She straddles Callie but the brunette breaks off their heated make out session. "Sofia is in the next room."

"She's sleeping." Arizona reasons, and her mouth once again meets Callies and her hands make their way south.

"Bedroom." Callie says, as she grabs Arizona by the waist and the blonde wraps her legs around her wife. She sets Arizona down on the edge of the bed. "I'm going to get you a wet wash cloth, I'll be right back."

Arizona knows what Callie is doing. So she strips down to her underwear and takes off her leg. Callie always gives her time to remove her prosthetic before they do anything remotely sexual. She slides back so that she's leaning against the headboard. Callie emerges from the bathroom, she's also stripped down to her underwear and she's holding a damp cloth. She wipes the tear streaks off Arizona's face and then places the cloth in the sink. She flips off the main lights and leaves the bedside lamps on.

"Hi."

"Hi." Arizona grins and gives her wife a flash of her dimples.

"Mhm, your dimples are sexy, did I ever tell you that?" Callie doesn't give her a chance to answer as her lips are once again on the blondes and her tongue is demanding entrance, which is happily granted. Arizona's hands go to Callie's back, and towards her bra clasp. However Callie swats her hands away. "No, you first."

The brunette undoes the clasp of her wife's bra and flings it to one side. Arizona is arching into Callie, desperate for more contact. "Patience Arizona."

"Tease." Callie's hand find the blondes breasts and she begins to massage them gently. She breaks the kiss and her mouth is sucking one of the hard nipples as Arizona moans out in pleasure.

"Shh, keep it down, you'll wake Sofia."

She moves onto the other breast, and palms the one she was previously giving attention to. "Oh god Calliope." Callie moves upwards before using her mouth to silence her wife's moans. Growing impatient Arizona grabs one of Callie's hands and attempts to move it towards her centre. Of course, Callie knows what she is doing and so she pulls her hand away.

Pulling away completely Callie slides down the bed slightly. She places feather light kisses along the blonde's abdomen and down the inside of her right thigh. "Callie!" She's determined to continue the torture for a little while longer and so she moves slowly upwards, back up Arizona's abdomen and into the valley between her breasts. She continues upwards and then starts to nip and suck on her wife's pulse point. She brings a single finger to her lips.

"Shhh Zo, I've got you." As Arizona hums in pleasure Callie feels her own arousal building rapidly. So her hands begin their journey south.

She drags her nails along the insides of Arizona's thighs making her way towards the blondes centre. But she makes her way higher. Her fingers graze along, a centimetre above the top of Arizona's panties. She sits up and takes in the look in her wife's eye's. Her pupils are dilated and she's moaning, loudly. "Honey you really have to try keep it down."

"I need…"

"What do you need baby, tell me."

"Your fingers… inside…now!"

She tears off the piece of material which covers her wife's aroused centre. "Shit, I'm so wet for you Callie, god please." She arches up trying to get the friction she so desperately needs.

Arizona is now not the only one growing impatient and so Callie finally gives her what she needs. Her index finger swipes along the slit, gathering moisture and she circles her wife's engorged clit. This earns another moan. Callie withdraws her hand and quickly slams two fingers into Arizona's opening. "Yess" Arizona hisses whilst clutching the sheets. Callie gives her body time to adjust to the intrusion before she withdraws and reenters just as quickly. "Calliope." She curls her fingers, and kisses the blonde roughly as she does so, muffling Arizona's moans.

"Shhh, or I'll have to stop."

"Don't. You. Dare. Stop. Now." Arizona shoots her an evil glare. Callie continues to pump her fingers in and out. She adds a third finger before she retracts completely. "Calliope Iphigenia Torres if you're thinking about leaving me like this."

Callie bites her lip and then slides down the bed. "I want to taste you Zo." The second her tongue makes contact with the blondes centre her anger is completely forgotten and she goes back to moaning in pleasure. She uses her tongue to play with the engorged nub as she slams her fingers back into her wife. She scissors and draws her fingers in and out whilst flicking the sensitive bud. She can tell that Arizona is close, her moans are getting louder and she can feel her walls contacting. "Let go for me Zo, let go honey. I love you baby."

She uses her tongue to trace the letters I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U on the sensitive bundle of nerves, and she curls her fingers on the last letter, which is all it takes to send the blonde tumbling over the edge. Her fingers continue to move drawing out the waves of pleasure. She waits for a few seconds after Arizona has come down from her high before she pulls out. Then she moves back up and stares into her wife's ocean blue eyes while she licks her juices from her fingers. Then she pulls her into a deep kiss and the blonde can taste herself on her lovers lips. "You're amazing Callie, I love you."

"I love you too." Arizona tangles her hands into Callie's hair.

"Let me show you how much I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

_—_

 _"_ _It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now_

 _said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now_

 _and I don't know how I can do without, I just need you now…"_

 _—_

Arizona sits up and gives her eyes a minute to adjust to the light. It's been almost a month since she spent the night at Stella's and she thinks that they've moved past it. She reaches over to the right side of the bed, but Callie isn't there. So she spins over and starts to put on her leg. She pulls her hair into a ponytail and heads out into the kitchen. When she opens the door she's met by the screams of her daughter.

"Mama! Mama!"

"Oh you're awake."

"Morning."

"Can you do Sofia's hair, and I'll get breakfast ready."

"Sure thing." Arizona joins Sofia on the sofa and picks up the brush which Callie has left there. "You know your mommy needs to learn how to braid hair."

"I can hear you." Callie shouts as she packs a peanut butter sandwich into a container. "And I have much more pressing things to do than learn how to braid hair, besides, you're here to do that, so I don't need to learn."

"True, very true." She secures the dutch braid with an elastic and then takes Sofia's hand and helps her down. "Are you almost ready to go?"

"Yep, almost."

"Okay." Arizona heads into the bedroom and throws on a blouse and fitted skirt. She grabs her bag, pager and phone before heading out to help the little girl put her shoes on.

"Right." Callie slips the backpack into Sofia. "Ready."

They take their keys from the bowl and then head out to the car park.

They drop Sofia off in daycare before heading to go and change into their scrubs. Arizona closes her locker before giving Callie a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you later." And then she's out of the room making her way to the elevator.

"Morning Karev."

"Morning."

"How's she doing?" Arizona asks as she ties the back of her pink gown up.

"Good, her vitals have stabilized, and her heart seems to be getting stronger."

"Great." She puts her stethoscope on and checks the heart beat. "She seems to be doing well. Do you want to go and notify the parents?"

"Sure." Alex walks out of the NICU and shoves his pink gown in the waste bag on his way to the waiting room.

Arizona finishes checking on all her patients in the NICU and then heads out to get the charts for her other patients. She takes the chart from the nurse and heads into the room of her first patient of the morning. Before she can she gets a page to head down to the ER.

"8 year old, inhaled a balloon."

"Inhaled? Did you page cardio?"

"Yep, on the way."

"Okay. Hi, can you tell me your name?"

"Harry."

"Alright Harry I'm doctor Robbins and we're going to get you patched up in no time. Can you tell me where it hurts?" But before he can speak the little boy starts wheezing. "Tube him, and book an OR, and get doctor Altman right now!"

"I'm here, what do we have?"

"8 year old male, difficulty breathing due to a foreign object in his lung. Inhaled a balloon is the description the parents gave the trauma staff apparently."

"A balloon? Great, I was meant to get off work an hour ago."

"OR 3 is ready for you doctor Robbins."

"Okay, lets go." They begin wheeling the gurney to the elevator, leaving behind the sobbing parents. They press the button to head up. The doors close and both women tie their scrub caps and remove all their jewellery. The doors open again and they head to the scrub room.

Arizona breaks the silence. "Really, you're working nights? That's why we have residents. Talk to me Teds what's going on?"

"Nothing is going on."

"Don't give me that Theodora."

"Don't call me that!" Teddy says shooting Arizona an evil glare.

"Then tell me what's bothering you!"

"I don't want to talk about it." Teddy turns the tap off, and heads into the OR to get gowned and gloved. They spend most of the procedure in silence because Teddy still refuses to tell Arizona why she's decided to work night shifts.

When they finish up they both head to the waiting room to give the parents the news that their son is going to be fine. Naturally the parents are relieved and extremely grateful. They give them details of where to find their son, and Arizona asks a nurse to make sure that they get to the right room.

"Hey." Callie spins Arizona around and hands her a cup of coffee as she kisses her on the cheek. "How's your day going?"

"Teddy and I just removed a balloon from a child's lung, so the coffee is greatly appreciated."

"Balloon? Wow, rough way to start the morning!"

"Yes it was, but my next patient should be getting discharged soon."

"Okay, we'll I'll let you get back to work, and I'll see you later."

"Bye Callie. Oh and if you run into Teddy, tell her to come and find me."

"Alright, any reason?"

"I'm not sure yet." Arizona shrugs and takes another sip of her coffee. She takes the chart for her next patient and heads in to check on his vitals to see if she can sign the discharge papers.

An hour later her patient is discharged. Arizona heads downstairs to get her second cup of coffee for the day. She heads over to the elevator and presses the button so she can sit down in the attendings lounge for a little while. She contemplates going to find Teddy, but then she figures that if the other woman isn't busy she'll be in the lounge too. The elevator doors swing open and Arizona steps out. She walks to the attending's lounge, which is empty. She's partially disappointed, but at least it means that she can get a minute of quiet. She sits on the sofa and sips on her coffee whilst mentally ticking off items on her to do list.

It's not long before the door swings open and Meredith wanders in to pour herself a cup of coffee. But she's straight in and straight out so Arizona is left in silence once again. She gets up to throw away her empty cup and muffin wrapper. The handle turns and in walks Teddy.

"Teds! just the person I was looking for."

"If you're going to ask me why I was at the hospital last night I'm going to walk straight out of this room." Teddy heads over to the table and grabs an apple. "I don't want to talk about it Arizona."

"Teddy, you're my best friend, I'm just worried about you that's all." But before Arizona can finish talking her pager goes off. "Shit. I have to go, but we are not done with this conversation." She grabs her white coat and pulls it on as she's rushing out of the door. She runs up a flight of stairs. She grabs a pink gown and gloves and then heads into the NICU.

"She's crashing." Alex informs her as he continues to perform CPR on the baby.

"Damn, what the hell happened?" She heads over and glances at the monitor. "Get me a crash cart."

Two nurses wheel over the cart and Arizona grabs the tiny paddles. "Charge to 10. Clear." Everyone moves away as the blonde shocks the 2 week old baby's heart. The monitor stops the constant beep, and the line jumps back into action as the numbers climb, indicating a heart beat. "Her oxygen level is still low, bag her."

Alex jumps into action and ensures that the baby is getting enough oxygen. "You can go, I've got this." Arizona heads out to check on all of her post-ops before she heads into her afternoon surgery.

* * *

She puts her scrub cap into her locker and closes the door. She feels strong arms encase her and warm breath down her neck. "Ready to go?" Callie is placing kisses down her collar bone.

"I'm almost ready Callie, I've just got to check on one more patient."

"Okay, I'll grab Sofia and wait downstairs."

"I'll be quick." She says as she turns around and Callie watches her golden hair bounce behind her as she heads for the elevator. She notices Alex sitting in the rocking chair next to the baby. He's half asleep, so she doesn't bother to wake him. She checks on the baby, and her oxygen level has improved, all her vitals are stable and so she heads home for the night.

"Okay, let's go." Arizona takes her wife's hand and they walk out to the car together whilst Callie tells Arizona about her day. They strap Sofia into her car seat and then head home.

They're about halfway there when Arizona looks up from her phone. "Could you possibly turn the car around?"

"Did you forget something?"

"No…can you drop me at Teddy's?" She can sense Callie's hesitation. "You know what, never mind, I'll call her when we get home. Then if I really need to I'll drive there myself."

"If you want me to…"

"No, seriously it's okay." The blonde is quickly back on her phone and types out a message to her best friend to let her know that she'll call her as soon as she can.

They arrive home and Arizona takes Sofia out of the car seat and carries her up the stairs. The little girl is half asleep so Callie and Arizona work together to get her ready for bed. She's asleep before they even turn the lights out, so there is no need for a bed time story. Of course both of them are feeling guilty for working late and keeping their daughter up in the first place, but they're also relieved that they don't have to stay up and enthusiastically read to her.

The blonde makes her way to the sofa and presses the green call button on her screen. Teddy picks up straight away and all that Arizona can make out from the other end is sobbing. "Teddy, you need to calm down sweetie. Take a deep breath and tell me what's going on." She thinks she hears her friend taking a breath, which is followed by more uncontrollable sobbing. "Okay, I'm on my way over, I won't be long. I'll see you soon okay Teds?" She's not sure if she's getting any sort of confirmation so she grabs her keys and hangs up the phone.

"Callie I'm heading over to Teddy's place."

"Sure okay." The brunette hates that she is doubting her wife but deep inside of her she's worried that Arizona is lying to her. Part of her wants to follow Arizona, but she knows that she shouldn't. She should trust her. But she doesn't, not since Lauren. "Zo."

Arizona spins around to face Callie, who is standing in the kitchen. "Yes."

"What is going on with Teddy?"

"I'm not sure, that's what I'm going to find out. She's been working over time and she texted me for an urgent chat. When I called her she was crying so I'm kind of concerned."

"She seemed a little on edge this morning. Go, go take care of her."

She makes her way over to the kitchen and wraps one arm around the brunettes waist. Her other hand travels to her neck and she pulls her wife in for a kiss. "I love you, and hopefully I'll be back later."

"Bye Arizona, I love you too." She turns around and heads back to the door. She puts her phone into her pocket and then makes her way down the stairs.

Teddy doesn't live too far away and there is minimal traffic which means that the drive over is quick. She heads into the building and up to the 3rd floor. She knocks on the door and within moments it swings open. Her best friend is dressed in a baggy football jersey and fluffy socks. Her hair is a tangled mess, her eyes red and puffy and there are mascara streaks all down her cheeks. Arizona's heart breaks a little at the sight of her best friend. She wraps her arm around the taller woman and guides her inside, closing the door behind her.

She sits Teddy down on the sofa and goes into the kitchen to grab her a glass of water. She joins Teddy on the couch and hands her the glass. "Sip on this. You'll feel better." When Teddy attempts to drink the whole glass of water Arizona has to take to away from her and set it on the table. "I said sip Teds." She places her hand on the other woman back and starts to rub circles. She pulls a couple of tissues from the box on the table and hands them to her friend, who does her best to wipe away the tears which are fiercely streaming down her face.

Teddy buries her head into Arizona's shoulder as the tears continue to fall. "Shh, it's okay. You're okay sweetie." She's doing her best to comfort her friend, and she hopes that she's helping because she's never been very good at this sort of thing. "We can talk when you're ready." She wraps her arm around the honey blondes shoulders and pulls her into a protective embrace.

The other woman has stilled. Arizona looks down, and sure enough Teddy is asleep. She doesn't want to wake her so she moves very slowly. The blonde grabs a cushion and places it under Teddy's head. She slides off the sofa and then moves the honey blondes legs so that she's lying curled up on the sofa. Of course Arizona contemplates moving Teddy to the bed, but she doesn't want to risk waking her. She knows that she really should be heading home but there are a few things that she wants to take care of before she leaves her best friend.

First she heads into the bedroom to search for a blanket. She finds one in the second cupboard that she looks in. She pulls it down from the shelf and then goes to the lounge to place it over the sleeping blonde. She grabs the glass and takes it into the kitchen and places it in the sink to be washed. She gathers up the tissues which are littered across the table, floor and sofa so she can toss them into the garbage.

Arizona catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She has tear and mascara stains on her blouse, her hair is static and she looks drained. She heads into Teddy's room, hoping that she won't mind if she borrows a change of clothing. She slips into a black t-shirt and leggings, which she rolls up at the bottom, and then heads out to grab things from the kitchen counter.

Whimpering. Arizona turns around in shock. Teddy is crying in her sleep. The blanket is on the floor and the honey blonde is tossing and turning. "Oh Teddy." She rushes over to her side and tries to wake Teddy. Her eyes snap open. "It was just a dream Teds." She slides onto the sofa and wraps her best friend into a tight embrace.

"I'm s-s-orry"

"Shh, you have nothing to apologize for, okay. Go back to sleep, it was just a dream."

* * *

A/N: Yay! I have 16 days until my first exam and I'm under prepared and I spent my day reading fanfic! Anyway hope you liked the chapter and sorry that it has to be two weeks between updates. Thanks to all the lovely people who have chosen to follow this story I really appreciate it, and thanks to the people who left such kind reviews!


	5. Chapter 5

_—_

 _"_ _So if you're feeling all alone remember good times or remember home_

 _And if you question all that you see remember that you always got a friend in me"_

 _—_

The honey blonde sits up and gives her eye a moment to adjust to the light. She looks around and realises that she's in her lounge.

"You're up." The sound of another voice startles her and she instinctively brings her knees up to her chest, but when she sees Arizona sitting next to her she calms down slightly.

"You were here all night?"

"Yeah." Arizona slowly shifts closer to her friend because she can see that the honey blonde is slightly on edge.

Suddenly all the memories come flooding back, everything that happened the night before. "Oh god, I'm sorry. You should go."

"Teddy. Why are you apologizing sweetie?" She places a hand on her friends shoulder and turns her own body so she can make eye contact.

"For last night."

"I said it then, and I'll say it again because I mean it. you have nothing to apologize for. Okay? You were upset and then you had a nightmare, if you want to talk about it I'm always here for you."

The honey blonde's cheeks start to redden. "You're such a great friend Zo. Really it's okay, it's nothing new."

"This happens on a regular basis? Teddy, why didn't you tell me, I could have helped. You shouldn't have to suffer alone." She pulls Teddy in closer so that she's resting across her chest. She runs her hands along her friends hair and squeezes her hand.

"They used to be more frequent, they don't happen very often anymore, really it's okay Zo. We can talk about something else."

"I'm sorry I don't mean to pry I'm just worried about you." She moves her hand so it's resting on the back of the sofa and shifts so they can both stand up. "How about we get some coffee and breakfast?" The blonde stands up and makes her way into the kitchen. Teddy follows her and grabs the coffee from the cupboard.

"You don't have to stay and take care of me you know, you can go home to your family."

"I don't mind staying, unless you'd rather I left, I mean I have already over stayed my welcome."

"Zo, you're my best friend, you're always welcome here." She turns on the kettle and then grabs two mugs from their hangers. Arizona opens the fridge to find that there is barely any food in there.

"Teddy, your fridge is not very well stocked." Arizona remarks as she closes the door.

"Oh yeah, I don't really cook very much, and if I do it'll usually be pasta or rice. I get take out or eat in the hospital most of the time."

"Well we are going to have to go out to get breakfast then."

"I guess so."

"Well, we can have our coffee first, if you're not too hungry."

"Nah, I'm not. I usually skip breakfast." The only sound that fills the kitchen is that of the kettle boiling. As it finishes and switches itself off Teddy breaks the silence. "Zo, I need to tell you something."

"Sure, you know you can tell me anything."

She stops stirring the coffee and turns to face the blonde. She can already feel the tears starting to build up. "I'm late."

"As in?"

"Yes, 12 days."

"Oh, I didn't know you were seeing someone." Arizona takes a step closer to her friend, realizing that she doesn't spend nearly enough time with Teddy. If she had made more time for her friend she wouldn't have had to ask that, she would have already known.

Another step, and she takes Teddy's shaking hands into her own. "We broke up, 2 weeks ago." Damn, something else she should have known.

"So he doesn't know?"

"No." She shakes her head violently and tries to hold back the tears. "It wasn't serious, we were only dating for 3 and a half weeks." _Great work Zo, you're making her even more upset with all the questions that you really should know the answers to._

"Okay, well we should pick up a pregnancy test while we're out, just so you can be sure. How does that sound?" Now Teddy needs her, and she be damned if she fails her best friend now.

The other woman simply nods. By this point she's allowed a few tears to fall, but she swipes them away with her sleeve.

"Do you mind if I borrow some other clothes? I kind of stole these out of your closet."

"Go ahead. I should probably change too."

"Thanks. I'll finish my coffee while you get ready first."

—

Once they are both changed Teddy grabs her bag and they head out of the door. Arizona goes to the drug store first since Teddy is terrified of going in. Then they grab breakfast from a bakery near Teddy's apartment and they eat whilst they are walking back.

"I did not know about that bakery. The food is amazing!"

"It is, it's my favourite, I mean its tiny, but you're right the food makes it all worthwhile."

"Yes, how did you find it?"

"Henry took me there." Silence. They don't talk about Teddy's dead husband. Now Arizona has to change the subject, fast.

"I should probably call Callie."

"You haven't called her?"

"No, is that bad?"

"Yes. When did you last speak to her."

"When I left to come to your place."

"Arizona!"

"I forgot. You were so upset, and then you fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you. You were sleeping in my lap for most of the time so I tried not to move." The pair are climbing the stairs of Teddy's apartment building.

"Sorry." The honey blonde mutters under her breath.

"Teddy, you really need to stop apologizing."

"Sorry."

"There you go again." They reach the apartment and Teddy fishes her keys out and opens the door. "So, why were you working nights? Is it because of the nightmare thing?" Arizona heads to the trash can and throws away her paper bag before she begins searching the apartment for her phone.

"No… well kind of but mostly no."

"Can you help me look for my phone? You know you could come and stay at mine if that'll help ease your nightmares."

"Sure thing. I don't know, I'd feel like I was invading your space."

"Well our door is always open if you change your mind, or if you want me to come over don't hesitate to call, any time, and I mean that."

"You're the best friend that a girl could ask for."

"That's so sweet Teds." Even though she knows she's not, she has hardly spoken to her best friend for the past couple of weeks She searches the sofa for her phone, with no luck. "Damn, where the heck is my phone?!"

"I can't find it either, are you sure you brought it with you?"

"Yes I'm sure. I think I'd better head home. Do you want to me stay while you do the test first?" Teddy nods, ashamed at being this vulnerable. "Okay, I'll stay." She hands Teddy the box, and the honey blonde takes it with shaky hands. "I'll wait right outside the door okay. Call me in when you're done?" Another nod. Arizona grabs Teddy's hand. "Hey, no more tears." She brushes away the falling drops from the honey blondes cheeks. "Look at me." She attempts to lift Teddy's chin so that she makes eye contact but the honey blonde has her eyes focused on the floor. "Theodora Altman. Look at me." Her eyes snap up at the use of her full name. "You're my best friend and what ever the outcome, we'll deal with it together. I'm not going anywhere." She pulls the taller woman into a tight embrace. "I'm right out here." Arizona says as she releases her friend from the hug.

—

"I can't look."

"Do you want me to?"

"Please." Arizona turns over the stick. Her eyes widen. The little plus sign. Her best friend is pregnant. "What does it say?" Teddy asks, her voice barely audible, almost as if she doesn't want to know.

"It's positive, Teddy you're pregnant."

She sinks to the ground and wraps her arms around her legs, pulling them up to her chest."What am I going to do with a baby?" More tears. Arizona grabs some toilet paper and begins dabbing at the tears which seem to keep falling in an endless stream. She grabs some more tissue before she joins her friend on the floor.

"You have time to think about that, and I'll support you with whatever you decide. We can call the guy if you want to tell him, or we don't have to. It's completely up to you." By this point Teddy has buried her head into her knees and her hair is shielding her face.

"I'm scared." Arizona tosses the tissue in the trash and grabs some more to wrap up the stick.

"I know. Nothing I say will stop you from being scared." She shifts over and the honey blonde collapses into her lap.

"Can you… not mention this to anyone. Because I-I don't know what to do. I don't want anyone to know, not yet anyway."

"Okay. It's our secret for now."

"You can't tell Callie, I know you're not supposed to keep secrets because she's your wife, but please Zo… please." Teddy looks up at her, her eyes still filled with tears and her pupils dilated with fear. Arizona feels so helpless because the strong, independent, Cardio-thoracic surgeon who survived her time in Iraq, is trembling, physically shaking, in her lap.

"Say no more. I won't tell her, she doesn't need to know. It's alright."

"You should probably go home."

"Are you going to be alright here?"

"Yes. I'll be fine. Go home, I'll text you if I need anything. Oh wait you don't have your phone."

"If you really need something Call Callie's cell and ask for me."

"Okay. I will."

"You're sure you're going to be okay?"

"I'm fine. Go."

"I'll see you soon." With that Arizona heads out of the apartment and down to her car. She finds her phone in the cup holder of her car. She picks it up and it's out of charge. So she drives home as fast as she can.

—

As soon as the door clicks open Callie is there. "Where the hell have you been?! I called you at least 50 times."

"My phone is dead."

"Of course it is! What the hell are you wearing?"

"Oh, Teddy let me borrow some clothes. Where's Sofia?"

"I dropped her at Meredith's when I thought I'd have to patrol the streets to find you! And you would know where OUR DAUGHTER is if you had answered your damn phone! What the hell happened that you needed new clothes?"

"Coffee spill." She lies.

"You stayed over night, you said you would be back."

"Might! I said I might be back."

"Right. And you were at Teddy's ALL night?"

"Yes. What are you implying."

"Well it wouldn't be the first time you were unfaithful."

"Call her, I was there."

"Firstly she's your best friend of course she would say that you were there, even if you weren't. Secondly how do I know you're not sleeping with HER?!"

"That's CRAZY! She's my best friend! Can you just stop questioning me, she asked me to stay, as a FRIEND, so I did."

"Why did she want you to stay, and why didn't you come home first thing."

"I can't say."

"Great! More lies!"

"It's not a lie! For gods sake can we not argue about this. I was being a good friend thats all."

"All you do is lie to me Arizona. And while you were off being a good friend you were being a bad wife, you didn't answer my calls. God forbid something was actually wrong with me, or with Sofia. I can't reach you!"

"Okay, so I keep my phone charged next time."

"You're missing the point!"

"Look I want to go to bed Callie."

"So you're tired, which means that you didn't get much sleep. Arizona stop lying to me."

"I'm not lying Callie, I just can't talk about it!"

"Why not? If you weren't sleeping with someone else all night why the hell can't you tell me what you were doing."

"Teddy and I were talking, okay?"

"Talking? For the whole night."

 _No, I stayed awake to make sure my best friend didn't start crying in her sleep again, and I'm fucking exhausted._ "Yes, for the whole night."

"You're unbelievable. how many lies are you going to tell me?"

"I haven't told you a single lie Callie, please you have to trust me."

"I did once, and look where that got me" Callie grabs her coat and slips on her boots. "Do whatever you want, I'm going to spend the day with Sofia."

"Calliope wait I-" But Callie is already out the door and it's slamming shut behind her. "I love you." She whispers to the empty apartment.

* * *

A/N: Hi all, thanks to everyone who is following this story, I really appreciate it! My first exam is in 2 days, but I will keep my updating schedule every 2 weeks, once I've finished exams hopefully that should become more regular, but I can't be certain.

Anyway hope you enjoyed and thanks for sticking with me!


	6. Chapter 6

—

 _"_ _If i walk down this hallway tonight, it's too quiet_

 _so I pad through the dark and call you on the phone_

 _push your old numbers and let your house ring…"_

 _—_

She's been standing in the same spot since Callie left, and the silence is slowly starting to consume her. Arizona knows that she has to do something before her thoughts completely overtake her mind so she puts her phone on to charge while she takes a quick shower.

She towel dries her blonde locks and then goes to get her phone. She turns it on, 10% charge, and then starts to scroll through the contacts list. Naturally the first name she stops on is Callie's. She contemplates calling her, but after some thought she realizes that it might be best to give her wife some time to cool off. So she scrolls back up to the top of her contacts list. Teddy Altman. Her finger hovers over the green call button. But she presses the back button. C. Carter, Stella. It's an old number, but she decides to give it a try anyway. She takes a deep breath and presses call. *This number has been disconnected*

She puts her phone down and grabs her house keys. She walks the 10 blocks to the bar that she knows all too well. Of course it being the middle of the morning the neon lights are off and the street is much quieter. She walks around the building, hoping to find a number that she can call. Sure enough there is one, and so she scribbles it down. Of course it's a long shot, but she heads back home to see how much charge her phone has.

57%. So she plugs in her headphones and types the number in. She pauses for a moment before she presses call.

"Stella Carter speaking, how may I help you?."

"Stella hey it's Arizona. Arizona Robbins."

"Had you at the first name Zo, I don't know very many people called Arizona. So what's up?"

"I was wondering if you were busy…"

"When?"

"Ermm…" Arisona hesitates, wondering if she could get away with just hanging up. "Now?"

"Now, right now?"

"Oh god, this was a bad idea, I'm sorry I shouldn't have just assumed that…"

"Arizona I'm free. I work nights, and I'm my own boss so I'm flexible. What's bothering you?"

"Would you mind if we met up and talked?"

"Sure thing, where. would you like to meet?"

"Do you know any good cafes?"

"Yes, I'll text you the address of one, from my actual cell, not my work phone."

"Okay, so I'll see you in, half an hour?"

"Yes half an hour sounds great. I'll see you Arizona." Arizona ends the call and then leaves her phone to charge as much as possible. The blonde surgeon heads into the bedroom and grabs her make-up bag. She applies light eyeshadow and eyeliner. She curls her eyelashes after which she brushes a few coats of mascara on. A coat of nude lipstick and a few brushes of bronzer later and she's ready to go out.

She runs a brush through her hair and puts on a jacket before rummaging through her closet to find a pair of shoes. She grabs her black flats and slips them on. Keys. Phone. Money. Pager. The blonde slips them all into various pockets and then heads out the door.

With the help of the map on her phone she finds the cafe and grabs a table. She checks her watch, 5 minutes until Stella is meant to arrive. She orders a caramel latte with a double shot. She sits and checks her emails whilst she waits for her drink to arrive. The barista places the cup and saucer on the table and moments later the brunette walks through the door. Her hair is straightened, down to her waist and the sunlight catches on her red highlights perfectly. Her eyes are just a little bit smokey and she's dressed in leather-look leggings, a crimson blouse and a black blazer, somehow Arizona can't help but stare at her ex-lover. In the natural light of day, rather than the darkness and disco lighting of the club, Stella looks much more mature and even more stunning than the blonde remembers.

"Hey." Stella exclaims as she takes a seat opposite the blonde. "How long have you been waiting?"

"Not long, just a few minutes. How are you?"

"I'm great actually thanks for asking. Busy, sorting out some finances but other than that I'm doing good. How about you? How's your daughter?"

"Sofia, she's good. She's with her mom. I've just had a really tiring couple of days and I just wanted to destress. How are things with you? Any relationships worth mentioning?" Stella manages to get the attention of a waitress and

"Well… you. I mean I haven't had a serious relationship since we broke up. Breaking up with you is possibly the stupidest thing I've done in my life."

"Stella I… I'm in a committed relationship. I'm in love with my wife."

"So you've never thought about us? Or even being with another woman?"

"Honestly no, I haven't thought about you in a long time. But yes I've been with someone else. But I was in a bad place at the time, and I had a moment of weakness. That's the moment in my life that I regret the most."

"Then why the hell am I here?" Stella's tone has changed now. It's more hostile and Arizona can feel her anger.

"I- maybe this was a bad idea. I'm sorry, I should go."

"Arizona, listen you have my number now, and we used to be good friends, and even if you don't care about me anymore, _I_ still care about you. You can call me anytime, or stop by the club if you want to let loose and just have a good time. I'll be there to make sure you don't have _too_ good a time."

All at once Arizona finds herself feeling completely at ease again, and it's as if she and Stella have spent no time apart. She swivels back around and they carry on talking. Eventually Arizona says that she will stop by the club more often.

It's just before noon when the pair finally part ways. Both women leave with a smile on their face. As her mood is now considerably better Arizona decides to go grocery shopping so that she can cook dinner. She plans the meal in her head, and makes a mental note to buy Callie's favorite wine.

When she finally get's back to the apartment, with her bags full of groceries she has to set the bags down in order to fumble for her keys. When the door is finally unlocked she is greeted by an eerily quiet apartment. Then she gets an awful, sinking feeling. What if Callie isn't coming home? But she shakes it off, because she knows that she can't think like that. It's 'what if's' that got her into this whole mess in the first place. She's spent her whole life wondering 'what if." But right now, she just can't, not if she wants to keep it together. So instead she begins cooking.

The clock display reads 4:27. The blonde has been in the kitchen ever since she got home. She pulls a knife out of the block and begins to chop up the carrots which she just finished peeling. She knows that it's getting later, but she's doing her best not to check the clock every 5 minutes. So she's focused her energy into chopping slices of carrot which have the same width.

It's close to seven o'clock and Callie still isn't home. This is causing all kinds of alarm bells to go off inside Arizona's mind. Dinner is almost ready and it's starting to get darker outside. She knows that if she panics Callie will bring up the fact that she herself was absent for the whole night, and part of the morning. So she takes deep breaths, and try to convince herself not to start dialling every number in her contacts list before she rings the police.

She's now sat at the kitchen bar with a large glass of wine and a cigarette in her hand. The cigarette isn't lit yet, but if the clock hits 8 and Callie and Sofia aren't back she has a lighter ready. She's gone through half the bottle already, not that it's having much of an effect on her, but she needs to do something.

She finally hears the lock click and she checks the time on the oven clock. 7:37. She lets out a huge sigh of relief before getting off the stool and making her way into the lounge. She can immediately tell that Callie had cooled off quite a lot, however there is still some underlying tension, and the blonde is unsure as to what she can do. "Come on Sofia let's get you ready for bed." It's past the little girls bedtime so Callie is as fast and efficient as possible in getting Sofia ready for bed.

It's a routine which they have performed so many times together that now the sequence is unspoken. So when Callie comes out of the bathroom Arizona is sat on the edge of the bed, brush in one hand ready to do Sofia's hair and story book in the other, ready to hand to Callie. She gathers the dark brown locks and puts them into a loose braid. Callie finishes the story and then they both place gentle kisses to their daughters forehead before pulling the covers up. They quietly slip out of the room.

Once the door to Sofia's room is closed the tension increased tenfold. Arizona slips into the kitchen and breaks the silence by asking if Callie has eaten dinner.

"No, I haven't unless you count one dinosaur nugget and a few spoons of peas as dinner."

"Well I cooked, it's probably a little cold by now but we can eat. But only if you want to…"

"I'd love to. You know that I think your cooking is amazing."

Arizona plates up the food and carries it over to the table. She heads back into the kitchen and pours out a glass of wine for Callie, and grabs her glass from earlier.

The conversation over dinner is easy, they make light chit-chat and for a while they seem like a perfectly happy couple. However they both know there are many underlying issues which desperately need to be addressed.

They move over to the sofa once the meal is done, and Arizona pours Callie some more wine. "It was a lovely meal Arizona, but we both know that we need to talk. No more shouting, no more lying and no excuses. We both have to be completely honest about what we want."

"I agree, we need to talk about what we want, and where this is going."

"Let's start with last night."

"I can't."

"We just agreed, no more excuses, and you said you'd be honest Arizona. God why do you keep lying to me?!"

"I said I'd be honest about where this relationship is going, I did not agree to divulge personal information about my best friend."

"How can we have a healthy relationship if all you do is lie to me?"

"We can still have a healthy relationship without telling each other every single detail of our time spent apart."

"I disagree. I think we should talk to a professional, and see what they have to say."

"You want to go to therapy?" She comes across more hostile than she intends to but Callie doesn't really seem to make too much of it, and so she hopes that she won't ask.

"I think it could help."

"You think just talking, with some stranger present is going to help?"

"Well if there's someone there to help then I think you'll stop evading all my questions, and perhaps you'll stop keeping things from me."

"I-I…"

"You what? You're not willing to put in the time? You hate shrinks?" The blonde flinches slightly, she was hoping that Callie wan't going to ask that question. "Do you want this to work or not Arizona?"

"Of course I do! I want to fix us."

"Well you're not acting like it!"

"Okay, so we'll go to therapy, see how it goes and then take it from there?"

"You're just saying that so that I'll stop talking."

"I'm saying it because I mean it. I'm agreeing to go to therapy because if that's what it takes to prove to you that I want us to be together, to show you that I want our marriage to work, then that's what we'll do."

"I just feel like… I feel as though you don't mean it. I-I don't know if I believe you, because I'm not sure how to trust you anymore. " Arizona takes her wife's hand's and shifts to face her.

"Then believe it when I say that I love you." Suddenly there are two sharp knocks on the door.

"Who the hell is that?"

"I'll get it." Arizona says as she stands and makes her way towards the door. She turns the lock and pulls the door open…

* * *

A/N: Okay so I'm a terrible person. But heres the next chapter, and apologies that it's so late.


End file.
